You wake up and have time to extensively read your Twitter
timeline
Once you’ve caught up on Twitter you have time to make
something more substantial for breakfast than a cereal bar
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When you turn on the television you immediately tune in to The
Jeremy Kyle Show
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Once that’s over you decide it’s time for a well-earned nap
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After a quick browse through Buzzfeed’s latest lists
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You wake up from your hour long nap and discover that there
is a cooking feature on This Morning
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Which makes you hungry so you go and look in the fridge
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Except there isn’t much so you put on your trainers and
hoodie and head to the shops
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You can’t be bothered to cook and suddenly McDonald’s seems appetising
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You tell yourself that at £4.09 a medium Big Mac meal doesn’t
hit your tight finances too hard
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After wolfing down your meal and suddenly feeling sick, you
decide it’s time to head home and look for a job
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But things get in the way such as YouTube
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And you find you’ve spent the last hour watching cat videos
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There’s a heap of new albums to listen to on Spotify
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Suddenly you’re parents/siblings/flat-mates are home from
work/school/university
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And you just have to watch Pointless first
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Then a mate texts you asking if you fancy a pint
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You tell yourself it’s a nice evening so it’d be rude not to
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One pint turns into two which turns into three
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You leave the pub for a club
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Seven pints, three tequilas and a shot of vodka later you
return home
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Only to repeat the same cycle the next day
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