Just British Problems: British

Tuesday, 15 April 2014

We just have so many...

As a non-smoker, apologising when someone asks you if you have a lighter

"I'm sorry I don't fill my lungs with tar"

Not wanting to disturb your doctor, even though you’re ill

"I will die from social awkwardness"

Running out of tea bags

"Quick! Fetch an old one from the bin. I need a cuppa!"

Running out of milk for your tea

"Oh ok, I'll just drink it without milk." *Grimaces* "...Lovely..."

Thanking parking wardens when they give you a ticket

"Thanks. Only £30, that's ok..." *Dies inside*

Apologising to people who have bumped into you

"Sorry!" *Mutters under breath* "What a c***."

Pressing the ‘Stop’ button on the bus too early but getting off anyway and walking the remaining distance

"Great. Now I have to walk through the stabby estate..."

People cutting the queue

"Get to the back bitch!"

Getting a terrible haircut but telling the barber it’s exactly what you had in mind

"Great!" *Thinks to self* "SHIT!!!"

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Thursday, 10 April 2014

Despite all the following things, going to the cinema is still great. At least I tell myself it’s great…

When you get to the till (or the machine. Never forget the machines!) it dawns on you how expensive it is.

You have the tickets – and less money in your wallet – but you need some snacks as it’s impossible to go longer than 30 minutes without eating.

But the food is even more expensive than the tickets.

Broke but looking forward to your popcorn and soft drink combo you settle down in your seat.

Only to discover that it’s really uncomfortable, there’s not much leg room and the rubbish left over from the last film is still there.

The film starts, oh wait, after 500 HOURS OF ADVERTS!

The curtains widen yet again and the film is finally under way.

But the uncomfortable chair is uncomfortable and you’re sitting near talkers and people on their iPhones.

You realise that popcorn is actually quite horrible and you’ve drunk your drink so fast that you’re constantly popping to the loos.

The film ends and you realise it didn’t live up to the hype.

No film ever does.